This is what was in my brain when I woke up this morning…

unexpected-cat

Is it wrong that I immediately thought of something from The Madness Engine when I first saw this picture?

Random stuff about me:

— I don’t know how to drive; I never had the opportunity to learn.  My eyes were already bad by the time I was old enough to get a license, and they’ve only gotten worse since then.  (It’s a neurological thing, more or less, rather than something that can be corrected with lenses.  I do wear contacts, but they cannot do anything about, for example, the way my eyes simply will not focus when the air pressure is doing something wonky… as it has been for the past few days.)  I often become frustrated with my inability to see properly at middle distances, because most of the time, at least, my eyesight is excellent either at very close range or great distances.  I can see the tiny picture of the statue of Abraham Lincoln on the back of a penny, and I can see the faint stars of the Pleiades on a clear winter night, but I can’t see well enough to read goddamn street signs.  30 centimeters = no problem.  30 light-years = no problem.  30 yards = no way in hell.

— I actually like dogs.  I’m allergic to them, but that’s a separate issue.  Dogs are cool.  I love beagles.  I used to live across the street from someone who had both a beagle and a corgi, and I’d say hello to them whenever I passed their yard:  “Good morning” to the beagle and “Bore da” to the corgi — addressing each dog in the appropriate language.  (And yes, if one of them had been a German shepherd, I’d have said “Guten Morgen.”  Probably.  Unless that particular dog self-identified as an Alsatian, in which case it could prefer “Bonjour” as a greeting — you never know.)  Border collies are also awesome dogs, and smart.  Boxers are quite friendly, but they’re doofy and prone to slobber when they’re excited about something — and boxers are always excited about something.

— I’m evil and selfish (and also sarcastic) because I choose not to inflict my genetic code on others by having offspring, so I don’t have my days filled with working a “real job” to provide for a spouse and children.  I’m single, I adopted a couple of feline youngsters a few years ago to satisfy any parenting/nurturing urges I may have, and I have the “excuse” of being physically disabled for why I “earn a living” as a proofreader and editor rather than working in retail or fast food or accounting or whatever.  (The whatever would have been teaching, for which I do have a university degree despite the protests of the person who was supposed to be my academic advisor.  He felt that it was wrong for a “mentally retarded” person such as myself to be allowed to attend university at all, much less receive a degree to teach art to high school students.)

— I played tabletop RPGs when I was in college and for a few years afterward.  I still miss that hobby.  I did not give it up because I decided that I was too grown-up or whatever.  I stopped only when I no longer had a group of people to game with.  I’m overly picky, I suppose:  I won’t game with people who treat everything like a joke.  Humor is good; deliberately trying to turn the campaign into a Three Stooges routine is not good.  Chosing not to participate in the hobby is fine; choosing to participate in the hobby but constantly talking about how anyone who games is a basement-dwelling loser is not fine.  Nor will I game with people who get freaked out about a man playing a female character or a woman playing a male character — or a woman gaming at all, for that matter.  And after the experiences Grace and my twin both had while trying to run a tabletop RPG campaign (last year?  earlier this year?  I forget) with players who refused to do anything and then complained that the GMs weren’t allowing them to do anything, I very much doubt I could handle playing anything that those bozos were involved in.  To date, I have not found any other group of tabletop RPGers around here.  Nevertheless, I know exactly where my dice are, just in case.  🙂

 

puff

 

As a bonus for those of you who made it this far (I realize that some of my blog posts are long — and kinda weird), here is a funny picture that Grace made yesterday.  She’d been thinking about this for a while, and seeing that “Hello Neo-panther” fan art last week inspired her to finally just do it.  I won’t explain who these characters are supposed to be.  Drawn to look like the Power Puff Girls, obviously, but… Just count’ em, and let your pattern-recognition skills do the rest.  (Grace says their names are Deedee, Fifi, Lulu, and Mellie.  And they’re princesses.)

I have started reading Predestination by J. Daniel Sawyer, the first novel in The Fates of Worlds collection.  So far, it’s a good story with interesting characters, and well-written.  I expect to be writing a pseudo-review of it in a few days.  So don’t worry — this blog will be back to a less weird weirdness soon.

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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