“Weaver, are you drinking… fake coffee?”
Yes. Please let me explain — it isn’t as bad as it looks.
Fake coffee, a.k.a. that roasted-grain-and-chickory stuff. Decaf isn’t fake coffee, just… well, decaf. A necessity at times, because no caffeine means I can drink a lot more of it, and there are days when coffee is needed because one of my
imaginary friends novel characters won’t talk to me — or anyone else — without a steady supply. (This is why we had to import a small amount of real coffee from another universe and keep it in a stasis bubble for a hundred years or so — much more effective than vacuum-sealing, by the way — just to have it on hand when needed even though coffee bushes won’t grow here anymore since the Five-Day War…)
Um. Yeah. In case you’re new around here, you should know that the we in the above aside was Geoffrey (character in “that novel”), not me. Just so you know. I have a weird sense of humor, and speaking in fictional-person voice from time to time because I can is part of that.
Also, the fake-coffee thing could be worse. I could be drinking hard apple cider. However, I am trying to remind myself that there is a perfectly rational reason for my left leg to be hurting in the exact same spot where another
imaginary friend novel character of mine once got injured by a piece of shrapnel… Correlation does not equal causation, and sometimes even cause-and-effect gets interpreted backwards from how it really is.