You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. Your forehead will leave a dent in the surface of your desk.
If you haven’t seen it yet, you should watch the YouTube video titled “So You Want To Be a Writer.” (It’s hilarious, even if you’re not a writer and don’t want to be one.)
Okay, now that you’re back after watching the video, I wish to share with you a few of the thoughts that went through my head…
Says the Wannabe Author character, “Most agents are just losers who couldn’t get book deals.”
Wannabes (not to be confused with aspiring/new authors — wannabes expect success without effort) sometimes say much the same thing about editors and proofreaders: ‘If u were a real writer u would of write ur own book and not be a hater cos im gonna be RICH and your not lol!!! ur a dork lol!!!!!!!!! fuck you grammer nazi lol!!!!!!’
I think this sort of hostility is meant to make us feel bad for giving a damn about good writing and for wanting stories that are readable. I don’t feel bad about it, though.
(Mercenary Proofreader says, “That’s ‘Fuck you, comma, grammar nazi,’ with an a in grammar.’ Also, I prefer the term grammar ninja.”)
Agents don’t make a lot of money, by the way. They get what, about fifteen percent of the royalties? That’s fifteen percent of the fifteen percent the author gets from the publisher.
RA (stands for Real Author) says, “So do you think that being able to read and write your native language makes you qualified to write a novel?”
No, but it would be an excellent place to start. *sigh*
RA also says, “The publishing industry really sort of expects you to have the spelling and grammar thing down.” To that, WA replies, “But I’m the talent. That’s what editors are for.”
I’m imaging WA with the Red Pen of Doom (DOOM, I tell you!) shoved up his/her left nostril into his/her brain…