Sometimes, he looks at fan art and has conniptions*.

(This art rant is brought to you by Too Much Caffeine and by the letters W, T, and F.   However, no actual conniptions were had.*)

I did something foolish the other day:  I looked at fan art on Pinterest.  Specifically, fan art for a series of fantasy novels I’m quite fond of.  (As I type this, I imagine both my clone and LR shaking their heads…)  Now, the reason this was a foolish thing to do was not because Pinterest is nearly as much of a time-devourer as the TV Tropes site.  I look at stuff on Pinterest all the time, and usually I don’t regret it in the slightest.

But…

Sometimes, I am torn between wanting to apply my head to a wall or desk, repeatedly and with great force, and laughing so hard I start to cry.

Various reactions to pictures:

Wow — Disney Princes in Amber.  (Prince Eric looks like… Prince Eric.  From Disney’s The Little Mermaid, I mean.  Which is unsettling, because that Eric sounds like Scott Hayden.)

You’re a professional artist, and I respect that, but really, Frances, pastels?  (That character wears black all the time, but yeah, sure, go ahead and paint a picture of him dressed in bright, cheerful pastels — I’m sure none of the people who ever read the novels will notice.)

Why do you kids all think it’s geometric like that?  Argh!  No, no, it’s much more… squiggly.  And blue, damnit!  (“Cause, y’know, information overload equals Pattern recognition.  *weird fanboy grin*  It’s nice to make proper use of that bad pun for once without having to pretend it’s anything else.)

What the hell is up with that moustache??  (Any resemblance to rants about images of fictional people from other stories exists solely in your imagination.)

Blond?  BLOND???  *outrage*  (No, this isn’t about Florimel — she is blonde.  Her author said so.)

Oh, for cryin’ out loud, kids, there’s no excuse for not at least getting the colors right!

What is he, twelve?  (Any person, real or otherwise, who can get away with claiming to be thirty-six years old should be drawn in such a way that he looks, y’know, like a grown-up.)

Do you even know what dexter means?  (White unicorn rampant, on a green field, facing to the dexter…  It’s a heraldic term, and it means the bearer’s right, not the viewer’s right.)

On the other hand… There was a picture of the guy in modern clothes standing in front of a drawing of a lighthouse on a stone wall.  I want a print of that.  Specifically, I want a lithograph of that, and I’m willing to overlook the fact that most lithographs these days aren’t actually printed off slabs of rock.

So maybe now you’re all reassured that I don’t just have conniptions over grammar and stuff; I also have conniptions over inaccurate illustrations.  (Besides, I pretty much laughed the whole time I was looking at those pictures, even while I was shaking my head at the wrongness of many of them.  Whatever.)

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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2 Responses to Sometimes, he looks at fan art and has conniptions*.

  1. Gee. I don’t usually even look at the art. I’m too absorbed fuming at bad history and awful dialogue.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Laura L. says:

    Just giggling. And forwarding to someone who will feel your pain.

    Liked by 1 person

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