Sometimes, he blogs a stream-of-consciousness sort of thing.

What would you do if you found out one of your favorite fictional people was on Twitter today?  (I’ve seen someone on Twitter who’s named after one of my favorite fictional people… That was startling, the first time it happened, but I should have expected it.)  These days, who isn’t on Twitter at least occasionally?  If not for that internship thing, I’m sure Geoffrey, fictional person though he is, would be spending a lot of time online on the weekends, which means he would probably be on Twitter this afternoon… Well, either that or playing computer games; I’ve been told that normal young men play lots of computer games these days.  Normal is relative, of course… And now I need to go look for an obscure novel quote.  Excuse me a moment… *looks for e-book, can’t find it*  Blah.  For whatever reason, my Kindle isn’t working, and of course most of my print books are still in storage, so I can’t look up the scene.  Basically, a couple of young men, cousins, are talking about their mothers, and their childhoods in general, and their various weird relatives, and then one of them says to the other, ‘So how did we turn out so normal?’  And the other one just looks at him as if to say, You have got to be kidding!  (This is a tangent, not a non sequitur:  Have I ever actually shared the quote that’s on Geoffrey’s favorite t-shirt?  No?  “I am the soul of honor, kindness, mercy and goodness.  Trust me in all things.”  It’s from a novel.  And although I do have that quote memorized — go figure! — I would be able to ‘look it up’ easily enough if I didn’t, because my clone has a t-shirt exactly like it, a gift from Grace for his 30th birthday.  I should point out, though, that Geoffrey had one first.)

Speaking of cousins… I keep wanting to put the word cousin in front of the name of one of the bloggers I follow.  Old habit, from my “misspent youth” when I was very much into tabletop RPGs.  Tended to refer sometimes to the people I played one game in particular with by their character names, and of course we were all related in one way or another. Well, my character insisted at first that he wasn’t kin to the rest of ’em, but… that was proven incorrect.  Emphatically.  So anyway, this blogger.  I started following this person on Twitter for reasons that had to do with art rather than writing or books.  I was mildly amused by the juxtaposition of the artist’s real first name and his type of art (*mental note — ask MA if she’s watched that stuff on YouTube yet*), but that was another matter, and not relevant.  You know how my brain is with… putting seemingly unconnected bits of trivia together in interesting ways.  (Can’t even use one of my favorite obscure puns this time — too obvious, dammit.  *shakes head*  Nevertheless, I’m telling you that my game character was recognized by both of ’em.  Unfortunately.)

Y’know what’s funny?  This entire bloggish blather so far was started because I saw someone say that ‘Harry Dresden is on Twitter today’ or something to that effect.  Harry’s author is — and I know this because he said so on the About the Author page in the back of at least one of his novels — a fan of the fantasy series I’m deliberately not naming (nor the tabletop RPG that was based on said series), which is how I knew that Harry Dresden wasn’t really dead when I was reading Ghost Story:  the cover art (on the hardcover’s dust jacket, at least) showed Harry standing next to his own grave.  Made me think of a scene from someone else’s novel, and I had a minor “intuitive eep.”  (Do not mock the intuitive eep!  I was right about the green columns in that one Sandman picture.  🙂  )

I hate not being able to see properly!  (Yes, an unfortunate segue.  Sorry.  Can’t be helped.  NOT a fiction reference, though.)  I can’t read as much as I want to, and I can’t write as much as I want to, and I’m lucky we have a large television, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to watch TV, either, and my clone has gotten me into the habit of watching something, a movie or a couple of episodes of a show, during meals… (Lately, the reboot of Hawaii Five-O.  Good show.  When it comes to screen fiction, my favorite thing aside from SFF is crime drama — even better if it’s a crime drama with some SFF elements, of course, but the ‘mundane’ stuff is also good.  Plots that I haven’t figured out completely before the first commercial break? Awesome!)  Yesterday I was even having difficulty seeing colors accurately.  Fortunately, I only see rainbow borders around lights and such when I’m wearing my old glasses — as I am right now, because the latest prescription for contacts doesn’t work, just like the last two — and that has always been the case, ever since I got these glasses back in… 2002, I think.  Got them to wear mostly when my eyes are reacting badly to a change in air pressure, which has been happening all too often lately.  Anyway, I’m not having any symptoms of glaucoma, for which I am grateful, because the optometrist I’ve been going to wouldn’t do anything about that anyway.  I’m too young to have serious vision issues, after all; real eye problems only happens to people over the age of 35.  (Sarcasm quota, remember?)

And dammit, I’ll turn 43 this June.  I want to be able to buy beer — hard apple cider, Belgian ale, whatever — without getting carded by someone who doubts the authenticity of my ID, and I want to stop being called a college kid.  (As in, “You college kids only care about the fighting, not A-and-S,” a Melrose phoney-SCAdian said to me a couple of years ago after I told her that I was not a fighter and didn’t want to be, but I was very much interested in some of the Arts-and-Sciences stuff.  Nope.  I was lying, she insisted.  No matter what I claimed, I was a student at the local university, under the age of 30, and only wanted to join the Society for Creative Anachronism so I could hit people with a rattan sword.  Yeah.  True story, that.  Also, Portales — large and wicked city of 17,000 people that it is — steals rain from the rest of the area with a secret machine kept in a room in the basement of the university’s science building…  Sorry.  Seems I can’t mention Melrose at all without sharing that nonsense about the ‘rain-stealing machine.’  But seriously, what the fuck?)  I want to know that, whenever I need to use a cane for walking, I won’t get cussed at by people who think I’m ‘mocking the elderly.’  (I finally have enough silver hairs for them to show!  Woot!  Not sarcasm, by the way.  I look forward to being able to flaunt a manly silver mane eventually…)

I want to stop getting disbelieving looks and “No, really, what do you do for a job?” when people ask me what I do and I tell them I’m a freelance editor.  If I could convince the optometrist that I really, really need to be able to see for reading and typing because my job depends on it, maybe there wouldn’t be so much trouble getting contact lenses — or glasses, because at this point I don’t care — that actually correct my vision.  (Very large font, everything enlarged on the computer screen on top of that, and adequate ‘touch typing’ skills as long as my hands don’t hurt too much — in case you’re wondering how I’ve managed to type this long blog post.  Nevertheless, I think I’m going to have to drop out of the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge this year.  *sigh*  I was really looking forward to that…)

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If you’ve read this entire post, congratulate yourself, and go have a cup of coffee/tea and a snack; you probably need it.  🙂

I promise, the next post will be shorter and less weird.  Most likely.  Well, shorter is almost a given…

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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3 Responses to Sometimes, he blogs a stream-of-consciousness sort of thing.

  1. Wow, what a trip. You know, I can’t follow anything much on Twitter. I lose track, especially with authors like Jim who manage to keep each character alive while having them talk to each other. My brain turns inside out and raises its figurative white flag. You got me. My white flag is waving in the virtual wind.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Laura L. says:

    I bookmarked this for later reading, which I almost never do for blogs, so kudos. I knew yours would be interesting. I understood a good portion, not all, but most, I think. I did feel like I needed a joint, though…

    Liked by 1 person

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