“Shocking Images Exposed” — poem made from the subject lines on spam email

Despite the title, this “poem” IS safe for work… unless you have a severely stuck-in-the-mud boss, but such people tend not to comprehend subtle satire when they see it, so yeah, safe for work. 🙂 (For your protection, however, the worst spelling and punctuation errors from the original subject lines have been corrected. Just because it’s spam doesn’t mean it has to be ugly spam.)

This is serious — you’ve been selected
New drink increases your IQ
You are now pre-approved
Cops use these
93-year-old raises IQ over 185
Cops use these
Cops use these
Catch her cheating!
It’s happening now
Special proposal
Don’t eat another veggie until you read this
Burn fat quicker without diet or exercise
We want your power service terminated TONIGHT
These veggies are not good for you
Prescription-free Adderall?
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Your stroke is about to happen
It’s happening now
New job offer
We want your power service cancelled TONIGHT
The world’s largest matching service
Now more sleep troubles
Cops use these
Cops use these
Thomas Weaver, you did it — congrats
Doctors discover legal steroid for your brain
Before you eat another veggie, read this
Your stroke may happen at any second
Cops use these
Catch up on sleep?
I’m pretty sure your info is on Ashley Madison
This site lists everything horrible you did
Cops use these
I saw what you did on this website
Never have a heart attack
WOW, this WORKS — you need to see this
Never have a heart attack
Before you eat one veggie, read this
It’s your last chance
How Americans are losing weight
Cops use these
Cops use these
It’s time to step up to the plate
Please confirm your WIFI connection
You may get fired over this
It’s happening now
I really dislike you
Cops use these
Cops use these
Your first time — congrats
Not receiving overtime pay? Time to get help
You have 2 hours to confirm
Before you eat one more veggie, read this
Prescription-free Adderall?
Do you have a cheating spouse?
You are pre-approved — see what’s next
Veggies that ruin your metabolism
Do you know about wireless home security?
You messed up, Thomas Weaver — only 45 minutes left
Your life could be over
Thomas Weaver, you have just 45 seconds left
Cops use these
Cops use these
Do you have a cheating spouse?
Cops use these
Why Amish have perfect hearing
Harvard: reverse the age of your brain by 30 years
Like Adderall without a prescription?
Woman is 45 but looks 18
Approval in just minutes
Do you know about wireless home security?
Your name came up — congrats
Cops use these
Your silver coin worth thousands
Cops use these
Prescription-free Adderall?
Cops use these
Incredibly designed garden hose expands 3 times its length
We want your power service cancelled by the end of the day
I look forward to hearing from you Monday
Stop eating veggies and read this
It’s happening now
I look forward to hearing from you Monday
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
How drinking can change your health
You’re stupid for not doing this
Simple, affordable wireless security systems protect what matters
Get the sleep you desire
Do you suffer from pain? Inflammation? Treat it naturally with cannabis
We want your electric service cancelled TODAY
OMG! 143 million Americans didn’t expect this
The incredible expanding garden hose
Stop eating veggies — read this first
These veggies are not good for you
Veggies that ruin your metabolism
Achieve full brain power with morning pill
This is 100x better than coffee
Tired? Safe-tested pill boosts brain power by 300%
It’s happening now
You’re next in line
Is she cheating?
Time to work from home
Find her secret profiles online
Like Adderall without a prescription?
200-year-old method to reverse your hearing
#1 method to restore your hearing
Work-from-home is hiring
Find out if your spouse is cheating!
Shocking REAL cause of diabetes exposed — CNN
You are now pre-approved for a 3-year loan
Is she cheating?
Approval in just minutes
Prescription-free Adderall?
Time to work from home
Check your score for possible inconsistencies
Welcome to the Facebook team
Over 67 million Americans have trouble sleeping — you’re not alone
Termination of service
Offers, tips, advice, and deals for home security
Read this before you eat another veggie
Your credit report is ready — check at no cost
Access the equity of your home without selling it
Your credit report is ready — check it at no cost
We did it for 9 hours straight
It’s happening now
Don’t be fooled
Service cancellation
Step-by-step woodworking plans
Thanks, Thomas Weaver, you deserve it
Before you eat another veggie, read this
Wonderful, Thomas Weaver, thank you again
I’m so excited for you, Thomas Weaver
Wow, Thomas Weaver, you did it
Do you have a cheating spouse?
Find out if your spouse is cheating!
Prescription-free Adderall?
You are now pre-approved for a 3-year loan
Jailed for discovering hearing loss remedy
Congrats — your resume was accepted by Google
Like prescription-free Adderall?
Prescription-free Adderall?
Prescription-free Adderall?
Approval in just minutes
Get paid to use power, don’t pay the power companies
Prescription-free Adderall?
Amazing news for you, Thomas Weaver
Get daily credit monitoring today
Get the sleep you desire
Military technology now available to the public
Approval in just minutes
Thank you for your feedback
Cancel your power service
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
NASA hires 13-year-old boy after scoring 165 IQ
Welcome to Microsoft, Thomas Weaver
Never order a salad for lunch again
Catch her cheating!
Review attached proposal
How to get a meal at Burger King at no cost
Why water is destroying you
You are now pre-approved — see what’s next
Mind-blowing and sweaty ‘you know what’
Thank you so much for this advice
I owe you my life, Thomas Weaver
The veggies that make you fat
Try THIS to restore your hearing
You are my hero! Thanks for changing my life, Thomas Weaver
The truth about coconut oil exposed
Work for Google or Facebook
New government program saves homeowners
Amazingly simple woodworking plans
I no longer have pain associated with neuropathy
Catch up on sleep?
Approval in just minutes
Prescription-free Adderall?
Fox — breaking news report
Cops use these
Cops use these
Thank you so much for this advice, Thomas Weaver
Looking up your name showed some awful things
Smartest person alive tool these pills to become successful
Prescription-free Adderall?
Eating bacon cures diabetes
Woman is 45 but looks 18
Work-from-home is hiring
Approval in just minutes
12-year-old takes these pills and raises his IQ above 174
Catch her cheating!
200-year-old method to reverse your hearing
Are you being cheated on?
Thank you for your recent feedback
You are pre-approved — see what’s next
You make me sick — I know the truth
Service termination
Direct deposit awaits your acceptance
Cops use these
Cops use these
BK wants to make you king for a day
Do you suffer from pain? Inflammation? Treat it naturally with cannabis
Congratulations on being hired Tuesday
Your score is ready to be reviewed
Don’t risk the dangers of pharmaceuticals
Diabetes — it’s a lie
You’re hired — job offer attached
Reminder: call your bank about incoming deposit
Quit your day job and work your dream with Google
Prescription-free Adderall?
Thank you for your recent feedback
Approval in just minutes
Auto repairs are expensive!
My fat sister looks better than you
Science predicts that your brain will be affected by this
Jailed for discovering hearing loss remedy
Make 90 dollars an hour using Facebook
Important — your score needs revision
Call your bank immediately
Approval in just minutes
Slash your bills by 85%
Improve your cognitive thinking by 44%
Hawking predicts this will happen to your brain in 2015
Gun owners delight
Increase wealth, focus, and your bank account with new brain pills
Check your score for possible inconsistencies
Want to get to the top 1%? Take this daily
Offers, tips, advice, and deals for home security
Drop 30 pounds in 7 days
Do you have a cheating spouse?
Like Adderall without a prescription?
Thank you for your recent feedback
This is what I was telling you
Salad is the main cause of overweight
STOP eating salads right now — it is damaging your body
Credits added to your account
Let me know Tuesday what you decide
Weird nerve pain miracle
Weird nerve pain miracle
Rapid weight gain caused by eating salads
Target has hired you
Your personal life may be over
Get laser focus
National health news: lose over 181 lbs. by never eating salads
We must hear from you
See who your GF has been calling/texting
Make calls from anywhere in the world
Turn back the clock on mental decline
Eating salads increases your chance of death
Nerve pain secret dubbed miracle
Cops use these
Cops use these
Don’t become the victim
Is your GF cheating?
The secret of laser focus
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
I got my hair back, and so will you
Stop eating salads — lose 181 lbs.
Govt. program puts hundreds back in your pocket each month
Don’t eat one more veggie until you read this
We will give you 300 daily
Laser focus can be yours
Regarding your personalized quote
Nerve pain secret dubbed miracle
Serious health dangers linked to your water
When will you catch up on sleep?
We just had the best experience
Warning of your possible death
Final reminder — please check your score
Google: your name was chosen
Improve your cognitive thinking by 44%
ATTN: we need a response from you today
RE: deadline is getting close — please respond
Don’t become the victim — how to prevent identity theft
Please confirm your WIFI connection
Eating greens increases your chances of death
A faster, safer way to apply for disability
Cops use these
Affairs you want
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Death by stroke is happening in 3, 2, 1
Stop eating salads right now — It is damaging your body
Are you a winner?
Doctors praise nerve pain supplement
It’s happening now
Like Adderall without a prescription?
You are per-approved
Thoughts to pray on
16-year-old hired by NASA to run space program
Congratulations — you have been chosen
Get the recognition you deserve!
You disgust me — I know the truth
Anxiety drugs leads to this
CDC: health report
Get the sleep you desire
You’re fat!
Skype — response needed this afternoon
Make your memories return
You disgust me — I know the truth
Catch up on sleep?
I’m 98 but feel 40 after eating this food
Target has selected you
Never forget anything again
Got panic attacks? Do this NOW!
Make your brain younger
All SpaceX employees forced to take this
Want to sell your timeshare quickly?
Service cancellation
Thanks for your loyalty
Your personal life may be over
It’s happening now
Make your memory return
We must hear from you
We must hear from you
Live 20 years longer by eating this ultra food
Cops use these
Skype welcomes you
Service termination
Google employees use this to increase their IQs over 170
New job offer
Let me know Tuesday what you decide
You are hired
EVERYONE knows what horrible things you did
Cops use these
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Get the recognition you deserve!
Power companies’ big cover-up exposed
This is Tesla’s darkest secret — viewer discretion advised
Get the recognition you deserve!
You look like a whale!
You could die at any moment!
CNN News: Tesla brings the big energy collapse!!!
Stop eating veggies
These veggies are not good for you
This is being called a miracle by nerve pain sufferers
Congratulations, you have been chosen
In minutes, everyone will know what you did
I prayed to God for forgiveness
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Please check your score
Please confirm your WIFI connection
Weird nerve pain miracle
Aid given to Pope Francis to raise his IQ over 168
Home surveillance cameras
Congratulations, you have been chosen
This site posted everything about you, Thomas Weaver
Please confirm your WIFI connection
Ditch coffee for this super natural nutrient from the ocean
Live 20 years longer
I KNOW this is true
Please confirm your WIFI connection
Increase your intelligence in 2 hours
Your September score
I know what you did — it’s disgusting
FDA drug increases your IQ over 160
You look like a whale
RedBull going out of business because of this
Cops use these
You could die at any moment
This food made me live 10 years longer
Students raise their IQs over 164 with new drug
You’re fat!
Unlock brain cells — raise your IQ over 130
Please check your score
Pill raises your IQ over 152
Are you worth the time and struggle?
Get the recognition you deserve!
Drug enhancer unlocks your brain power over 200%
These veggies will ruin your metabolism
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Unreal rates on vehicles
10-year-old takes this to become smartest living person
Notice that your order has been placed
Shocking images exposed
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Please check your score
I’m 90 and have perfect memory
I prayed for God to give me strength
You’re a horrible person — I saw everything on this site
Cops use these
An order is ready for you to pick up
Get the recognition you deserve!
Power companies caught red-handed
Unreal rates
Your Amazon order has been cancelled
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Pope Francis gives Illuminati hand sign
The end is happening now!
Get the recognition you deserve!
I saw your name and the horrible things you did on this website
Your September score
Obama and Pope Francis will bring Biblical End Times
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Confirmation that you placed an order
The end is happening now!
Get the recognition you deserve!
The terrifying book that Pope Francis wants the world to read
Your Amazon order has shipped
Your Amazon order has been cancelled
The end is happening now!
Get the recognition you deserve!
Your Amazon order has been cancelled
Terrifying future for humanity, 2015 and beyond
All prices below blue book
The terrifying book that Pope Francis wants the world to read
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Dispute or verify the horrible things about you on this website
Shocking images exposed
Terrifying future for humanity, 2015 and beyond
Your Amazon order will be cancelled in 24 hours
Terrifying future for humanity, 2015 and beyond
The end is happening now!
Get the recognition you deserve!
This is the end? Pope gives cryptic hint
This will change your life
Get the recognition you deserve!
Congratulations, you have been chosen
It is time to repent and prepare — God will not be mocked!
The end is happening now!
Please confirm internet speed
Refinance and save
Arctic glacier eliminates wrinkles forever
Heidi Klum does this to her body daily
Get the recognition you deserve!
11 places to score free coffee
Please confirm your internet speed
This is the end? Pope gives cryptic hint
Get the recognition you deserve!
Congratulations, you have been chosen
The end is happening now!
Taylor Swift makes out with Justin Bieber
David Letterman now smartest living person
Please check your score
Understanding the apocalyptic visions of Pope Francis
Get the recognition you deserve!
Please confirm your internet speed
Your Amazon order will be cancelled
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Obama and Pope Francis will bring Biblical End Times
This is so great for you and your family
Get the recognition you deserve!
Get the recognition you deserve!
Please confirm your internet speed
You look like a pig
If you’re stupid, you must take this
Free Starbucks for life (30 years)
Get the recognition you deserve!
Swiss researcher claims he’s found the answer
Product that will make you smarter
All stupid people must use this
All stupid people must use this
Are you playing prescription roulette?
Lady Gaga smashes Stephen Colbert’s head
Lady Gaga and George Clooney make out
Obama calls this incredible
Please confirm your internet speed
These pills make 14-year-old girl raise her IQ over 161
MSNBC hires 14-year-old
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed
These 12-year-olds are smarter than any Harvard student
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Become smarter in minutes
14-year-old now smarter than Bill Gates
All priced below blue book
Son of Bill Gates forced to eat this and is now a genius
Kim Kardashian hooks up with Stephen Colbert
The truth about nootropics
Catch up on sleep?
Free coffee
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Please confirm your internet speed
Exercise is great, but don’t forget brain health
Are you worth the time and struggle?
You look like a whale
Your September score needs revision
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Please confirm your internet speed
You look like a whale
Taylor Swift drinks this daily in the car
You look like a whale
Get the recognition you deserve!
Stephen Colbert exits the Late Show
Protect your family
9 ways to sleep better
Wake up refreshed and rejuvenated every day
Better than caffeine
A good night’s sleep awaits
I think you’ll like this
Please confirm your internet speed
You look like a pig
Cops use these
Please confirm your internet speed
Wake up refreshed and rejuvenated
Get comfortable, restful sleep
Please confirm your internet speed
Stephen Colbert feels a slimmer Katy Perry
You’re fat!
You look like a whale
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Become smarter in minutes
Pill raises your IQ over 132
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Get the recognition you deserve!
Your home security plan information
You’re fat!
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Get the recognition you deserve!
Product that will change you smarter
Cops use these
You’ve been hired
Become smarter in minutes
Shocking images exposed
You’re fat!
Cops use these
Use this to become smarter in minutes
Cops use these
Cops use these
Is she cheating on you?
Possible death from eating blueberries
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Use this to become smarter in minutes
Do the unthinkable
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Use this to become smarter in minutes
You’ve been chosen
This is just being given to you
Cops use these
Consuming milk and water makes you fatter
Reliable answers for treating ADHD
Do the unthinkable
Use this to become smarter in minutes
Consuming milk and water makes you fatter
Eating ketchup could kill you
This weapon would kickstart WWIII
Interventions give addicts hope
Congrats on being chosen for this position
You look like a whale
Google cheated — was created using these pills
Cops use these
Prevent an early death
You’re on death’s door
Mark Zuckerberg cheated — steps down from Facebook
Soda will kill you
Facebook site shuts down — effective Friday
Cans of soda cause death
Facebook boss steps down amid scandal
Become smarter in minutes
Weird nerve pain miracle
Weird nerve pain miracle
Cops use these
Get the help you need
Become smarter in minutes
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Eating rice and oatmeal cold kills you
We want you to have this
Weird nerve pain miracle
Weird nerve pain miracle
Become smarter in minutes
Working out 5 minutes could kill you
Product that will change you smarter
Interventions give addicts hope
Interventions give addicts hope
We want you to have this
Cans of soda cause death
Potatoes killing Americans
Facebook boss steps down amid scandal
Shocking images exposed
A little thank-you from us
Death’s door coming, the most important sign
You may die from working out
At any moment, the commission will take this down
French fries killing Americans
Apple closing due to recent controversy
French fries killing Americans
You look like a whale
Raise your IQ by 240
Congratulations, you have been chosen
It’s our way of saying thank you
Are you still there?
You look like a pig
9 ways to sleep better, starting now
Get comfortable, restful sleep
Get the help you need
I saw this, and you sicken me
Jimmy Fallon punches Tom Cruise in the face
This saved Tom Cruise
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
You’ve been hired
You’re fat!
Get the help you need
We would like to give this to you
You’ve been hired
Life as you know it is about to change
Keep aging at bay
Become smarter in minutes
Get the facts about ADHD
This is just being given to you
Get the help you need
Use this to become smarter
You look like a whale
On the edge of a nervous breakdown
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Use this to become smarter
Do the unthinkable
Get the help you need
Cops use these
Get the help you need
Working out more than 10 minutes could kill you
Congrats on being chosen for this position
You’ve been hired
Delete this after reading
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
You will lose this if not confirmed
You’re fat!
Is this Tesla’s darkest secret?
Don’t ignore this
Don’t ignore this
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Viewer discretion advised
Can’t sleep?
What is ADHD?
What is ADHD?
You have 6 hours remaining
This will turn you from stupid to super smart
Treadmills will kill you
Shocking images exposed
Can’t sleep?
Pill that makes you smarter
Get more info on interventions
Tap water is making you really fat
Exercise is great, but don’t forget brain health
Shocking images exposed
I promise this will work for you
Cops use these
Cops use these
You look like a pig
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Water leading to death
Cops use these
I swear this will change your life
Cops use these
I promise, your life will change after reading this
Use this to become smarter
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Put this in your coffee
This will change your life
Eating bacon will save your life
Never use ketchup again
Working out is making you fatter
Service termination
Use this to become smarter
Use this to become smarter
Become smarter in minutes
Do the unthinkable
Shocking images exposed
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Water leading to death
Cops use these
Never use ketchup again
A background check was conducted about your past
Never eat gum again
Increase your IQ over 210 by Friday
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Doc warns ticking time bomb in your brain
Shocking images exposed
Never run or work out again
Shocking images exposed
I sweat this will make you look 30 again
Cops use these
Unlock nerves in your brain and become smarter
Go from stupid to genius by taking this
Get rid of age lines by Friday
Never drink dairy again
Find help with an addiction interventionist
Working out will make you fatter
New product will permanently make you smarter
Congratulations, you have been chosen
I promise this will change your life
You’ve been hired
Final notice
Military discussing technology release
Replacements estimate
Congratulations, you’ve been chosen
Shocking images exposed
Identity protection services
Congratulations, you’ve been chosen
Military release new technology to public
Military discussing technology release
Become smarter in minutes
Congratulations, you’ve been chosen
Identity protection today
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
Don’t eat one more veggie until you read this
Shocking images exposed
Congratulations, you’ve been chosen
Congratulations, you’ve been chosen
Shocking images exposed
Addiction intervention
Act now to intervene with a loved one
What is ADHD?
Congratulations, you’ve been chosen
Identity protection today
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Great rates on home security
Congratulations, you’ve been chosen
Cucumbers could kill you
Beat insomnia
Identity protection today
NASA doctor reveals how to reverse brain age
Cops use these
In 9 seconds, your life is going to change
ADHD diagnosis and treatments
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Look 18 again
40-year-old looks 28
Get the recognition you deserve!
You’ve been hired
New treatments may help ADHD sufferers
Cops use these
You have been chosen
Reshape your mind tonight!
Cops use these
Interventions for addicts
You have been chosen
Shocking images exposed
Your power service may cancel without this device
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Your power bill will go up 2x
You have been chosen
Interventions for addicts
Reliable answers for treating ADHD
Cops use these
ADHD diagnosis and treatment
Cops use these
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Shocking images exposed
Get rid of every age line
You will look so amazing after using this
Your energy cost could triple
Brain steroid boosts your IQ over 200
Bill Gates shuts down Microsoft
Your energy costs could triple
Brain steroid makes you smarter and more energized
Odd trick restores perfect 20/20 vision
Cops use these
Your power costs are increasing
Identity protection services
This will change your life
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Weird nerve pain miracle
You’ve been hired
If you work out, you will get fatter
Cops use these
Cops use these
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Your power bill is doubling in November
Congratulations, you have been chosen
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Rewire your mind
Rewire your mind
Weird nerve pain miracle
Military release new technology to public
Cops use these
She still gets carded, and she is 46
Military release new technology to public
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Cops use these
Drug and alcohol interventions
Exercise is great, but don’t forget brain health
Cops use these
Cops use these
Elevating your brain
Military discussing technology release
Never have bad luck again
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
She’s 55 years old but looks 19
Shocking images exposed
Smart pill improves test scores by 8.4%
Shocking images exposed
Stop the migraines
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Nothing to lose but the pain
Military release new technology to public
Cops use these
All the cards!
Military release new technology to public
Master the art of woodworking
End your neuropathy pain
Know your score?
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Not available in stores
Cops use these
4 negative items, Thomas Weaver
Shocking images exposed
Not available in stores
Stay calm, this is bad, Thomas Weaver
This site shows everything about you, Thomas Weaver
Thomas Weaver, I just read awful things about you on this site
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Thomas Weaver, this site shows how horrible you were in the past
Shocking images exposed
Thomas Weaver, this will save your life
Legal smart drugs: explosive memory retention and razor focus
210-point IQ increase
Shocking images exposed
You have been chosen
Unhappy with your plan?
You have been chosen
Smart pill increases test scores by 8.4%
Shocking images exposed
You have been chosen
Before you eat another veggie, read this
Shocking images exposed
Military fears for 275 million American lives
Not available in stores
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Cops use these
Master the art of woodworking
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Master the art of woodworking
Extend your life 20-50 years
Not available in stores
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
This is being called a miracle by nerve pain sufferers
Not available in stores
Doctors praise nerve pain supplement
Refinance and save!
Unhappy with your plan?
You have been chosen
Nomination pending
Cure aging — live 20 years longer
Shocking images exposed
Has your identity been stolen?
Shocking images exposed
Has your identity been stolen?
Has your identity been stolen?
Nomination pending
Easier ways to look younger
Cops use these
You have been chosen
Live 150 years even if you’re in your 70s
These vitamins prevent death
Cops use these
Vitamins make you live 20-30 years longer
Become smarter in minutes
Nomination pending
You have been chosen
Cops use these
Not available in stores
Shocking images exposed
Your attention is needed
Congrats on being chosen for this position
Not available in stores
Cops use these
We can help with your payments
The most-watched video ever
Shocking images exposed
Master the art of woodworking
What your doctor doesn’t’ know could kill you
Shocking images exposed
You have been selected
Cops use these
No more sleep troubles
What your doctor doesn’t know could kill you
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Jeremy is 115 but has the body of a 70-year-old
Shocking images exposed
Nomination pending
Become smarter in minutes
You have been selected
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Not available in stores
Your help in hard times
Has your identity been stolen?
Shocking images exposed
Not available in stores
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
You have been chosen
Shocking images exposed
Master the art of woodworking
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
Never eat potatoes again — you could die
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Nomination pending
Are you tired of your ordinary looking house?
Cops use these
You have been selected
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
Master the art of woodworking
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Master the art of woodworking
You’ve been hired
Nomination pending
Master the art of woodworking
Cops use these
Cops use these
Discover addiction intervention experts
It’s never too late for an intervention
You must have this in your home
Shocking images exposed
Final notice
Shocking images exposed
Get the facts about ADD/ADHD symptoms
Last chance
Cops use these
Master the art of woodworking
Your items are shipping Thursday
Cops use these
Find addiction interventionist to change paths
Shocking images exposed
Was your identity compromised in a recent breach?
Nomination pending
Congrats on being chosen for this position
It’s not too late for an intervention
It’s not too late for an intervention
Shocking images exposed
Wireless security information enclosed
Cops use these
Help your loved one with an addiction
Quick fixes won’t work — stage an intervention
Substance abuse treatment
45 left
Shocking images exposed
Treat cold symptoms today
Cops use these
Cops use these
Cops use these
We would like to thank you
Ways for dealing with distractions for adults with ADHD
Ways for dealing with distractions for adults with ADHD
Master the art of woodworking
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder — symptoms and treatments
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
You’ve been hired
Cops use these
Congrats on being hired for this position
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
How to prevent winter colds
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Your UPS package has been cancelled
Replacement estimate
You’ve been hired
Congrats on being hired for this position
Cops use these
Cops use these
Your UPS package will be cancelled in 24 hours
Shocking images exposed
Master the art of woodworking
You’ve been hired
Replacement estimate
Our way of saying thanks
Master the art of woodworking
It is then revealed that she has grown very attached to Dan
Shocking images exposed
ADHD treatments
Get the facts about ADD/ADHD
Cops use these
Increase your chance of winning by 91 percent
Get the help you need
Ge the help you need
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
You are not alone in the fight against addiction
Cops use these
Quick fixes won’t work — stage an intervention
Replacement estimates
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
The greatest invention of mankind
Last time I am going to tell you this…
Shocking images exposed
Replacement estimates
Never work out again
Addiction intervention — don’t wait until tomorrow
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Master the art of woodworking
Recent data breaches may have compromised your score
Not available in stores
You will have a heart attack — read this to prevent it
Cops use these
Death by heart attack happening in 3 seconds
Don’t be a fool — read this now
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Don’t be an idiot — see this
Shocking images exposed
Master the art of woodworking
Military discussing technology release
Military release new technology to public
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Replacement estimates
Master the art of woodworking
OMG, congrats!
This flashlight is more powerful than a taser
Cops use these
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
Shocking images exposed
Cops use these
Please confirm your internet connection
Champagne makes your memory return
Replacement estimates
Shocking images exposed
You’ve been hired
Master the art of woodworking
Shocking images exposed
Genius hacked lotto game
Shocking images exposed
Your home security plan
CDC water contamination results are in
Shocking images exposed
Master the art of woodworking
Master the art of woodworking
Cops use these
Please confirm your internet speed
Master the art of woodworking
Not available in stores
Cops use these
Shocking images exposed
Your home security plan
Your UPS package has been cancelled
Replacement estimate
Shocking images exposed
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed
Wake up refreshed and rejuvenated every day
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed
Don’t be an idiot
Please confirm your internet speed
Please confirm your internet speed

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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3 Responses to “Shocking Images Exposed” — poem made from the subject lines on spam email

  1. Wow. That’s a LOT of spam. You seem to have a much higher quality of spam than me. Congratulations! You’ve been pre-approved and selected!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I left out all the stuff about credit cards, walk-in bath tubs, car insurance, and the inevitable, ahem, male enhancements. *rolls eyes* Plus whatever the hell that ‘ultra high-tech flashlight’ thing was all about.

      Like

  2. I didn’t read the entire poem, but I became concerned when I read this:

    “Your stroke is about to happen
    It’s happening now”

    Liked by 1 person

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