Writing Glitch #15

Today’s glitch:

glitch17

Weird capitalization, much?

Natural disasters had become more frequent in the area since the remains of the high priestess vanished from her tomb. The locals believe her final resting place was built over a gateway to the underworld, and she was their protector.

It would be okay (not standard, but okay) to capitalize High Priestess if the author wants to go for that Old-Style High Fantasy Effect, but it makes no sense to capitalize only part of it; either capitalize both high and priestess, or capitalize neither. It makes no sense to capitalize locals, either.

It is neither necessary nor desirable to use had in front of every single verb that’s before the “now” of the narration.

Ellipses at the end of a sentence (or partial sentence) indicate a trailing off of the thought. Don’t use them just to indicate that you’re done talking for now; that’s what a period (a full stop, to those who speak UK English) is for.

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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