Writing Glitch #26

Today’s glitch:

glitch28

In terms of the mechanics, this sentence is almost right. It just needs another comma.

A loud crack in the sky signals a storm, but instead of rain, something else falls from the sky.

Personally, I’d delete in the sky (repeating sky does make the whole sentence a little bit clunky, and you can reasonably assume that a crack signaling a storm is in the sky rather than somewhere else), but leaving it there isn’t incorrect.

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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