Writing Glitch #41

Today’s glitch:

 glitch44

The dash (it’s actually a hyphen in the sample, but let’s pretend it’s a dash) isn’t necessarily wrong, but there are better much options. A colon, for example, indicating that elaboration on the original thought follows.

Jacking into the network was always the same: a slight electrical tingle at the back of my head as my vision shifted from analogue to digital.

A colon is somewhat abrupt (which is part of why seeing one where no punctuation belongs is like encountering a speed bump on a highway) and draws extra attention to whatever comes after it. You could also just use a comma.

Jacking into the network was always the same, a slight electrical tingle at the back of my head as my vision shifted from analogue to digital.

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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