In the third paragraph of this sample, we see a common error: capitalizing the first word of a tag that follows a question mark (or exclamation mark) because many writing programs cannot tell that this isn’t the end of the sentence as a whole and think you’re starting a new sentence afterward (and a lot of writers are far too inclined to trust whatever the auto-correct says without question). There’s also a comma splice in this paragraph.
He was rudely shaken awake by his wife, who seemed to be sleepwalking and completely unaware of her surroundings.
“They’re coming,” she whispered in an eerie, sing-song voice that was contradictory to the expression of terror on her face.
“Who’s coming?” he asked her, confused and afraid — but it was too late. She collapsed back into bed, lightly snoring, making him doubt she has even moved at all.
I’ve got to say this: rudeness implies intent, or at least action by a person who is in control of what they’re doing even if they don’t intend to be rude. In my opinion, nothing anyone does while sleepwalking deserves this description. I’d change rudely to abruptly.
I’d change the second paragraph to this:
“They’re coming,” she whispered in an eerie, sing-song voice at odds with the expression of terror on her face.