Writing Glitch #61

Today’s glitch:

glitch63

The old town was built around a strange and ancient tower of unknown origins. A man, trapped inside it since the dawn of time, can see and hear, but not interfere with, everything that happens around it.

Notice where the last comma is placed. You could remove but not interfere with, and the rest of the sentence would still make sense (although the meaning would be changed somewhat). With the comma in its original position, deleting the part set off by commas would give you […] can see and hear with everything that happens around it. Obviously, with belongs inside the commas.

Also, dawn of time doesn’t need to be capitalized because it’s a general concept rather than an actual, specific era.

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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