Writing Glitch #91

Today’s glitch:

glitch95

Everyone has Death’s phone number. Anyone can call him and make a request, but you must fulfill his request, too.

I chose to italicize his because it seems to need a bit of emphasis, and I added too as much as anything to keep the two halves of the sentence from ending with the same word and being clunky. At any rate, after but is the wrong place for a dash.

If the dash was intended to indicate a “dramatic pause,” use an ellipse there instead. Dashes are not for pauses; they’re for interruptions or abrupt changes in direction.

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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