Writing Glitch #96

Today’s glitch:


Being a vampire is a pretty good deal — unless you get turned as a child…

I don’t actually think the sentence should trail off, but I left it that way so I could show the right way to do it: with three dots, not two.

(The views expressed in these “writing glitch” examples do not necessarily reflect the views of Mercenary Proofreader. In fact, Mercenary Proofreader has had a bad attitude about vampires and vampire fiction ever since a small gang of vampire-wannabes tried to murder his twin two decades ago, so he definitely doesn’t think being a vampire would be a good deal regardless of when one was turned.)

Also, the dash can be replaced with a comma if you don’t want to draw extra attention to the latter part of the sentence. (It isn’t an abrupt change of idea, which is what a dash would indicate.) Another way to write the sentence: Being a vampire is a pretty good deal… unless you get turned as a child. It all depends on where (or if) you want to have a pause/trailing off.


About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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