Writing Glitch #102

Today’s glitch:


Those parentheses have to go.

The Ghost Embassy has just hired you, a human, to be their new ghost-human relations [expert? specialist? a word was dropped, and I don’t know what the writer intended] after the last one was…

If the writer insisted, for whatever odd reason, to keep the parentheses, the comma would need to go away instead.

The reason this sentence trails off with an ellipsis, by the way, is that it was created as a writing prompt, leaving the conclusion/explanation to whomever chose to use the prompt as the seed for a story. (That’s not your assignment, though.) I don’t like the use of the word human in this example. What are ghosts, if not the spirits/souls of deceased humans? Were I editing this for real, I’d recommend that the writer find a better word.

About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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