Writer has anxiety attack, thinks, ‘This is soooo going in my novel.’

(Warning: This is Weaver writing in a way that reflects his thought processes, so linear is not necessarily in the cards. Literal may also occasionally be conspicuous in its absence.)

I need to stop getting so frustrated at my friends not noticing every last obscure/trivial detail in works of fiction. Sure, it means I can’t geek out with them over all the cool stuff, but I have to accept that as the price of… something.

If one of my clone’s most recent fans happens not to notice that a minor character in a couple of his novels happens to vaguely resemble someone with whom my clone sometimes shares a first name, I’m not gonna be the one to point it out to her. Sure, she has all the necessary information in which to notice a pattern or two, but… Well, most humans are lucky enough not to see interconnectednesses in minutia.

Tangent: Remember when I mentioned being frustrated when fellow writers in a workshop situation read one story I wrote and interpreted a reference to Earth as the home of humankind as some sort of political correctness thing, eliminating gender from the term, rather than writing it that way to place subtle emphasis on species? I’d hoped at least to plant an unnoticed seed of doubt… But no, most of ’em didn’t pick up the clues when practically slapped in the face with them. The protagonist from that story would be reassured, but his author is still kinda annoyed, and that happened more than two decades ago. *sigh* Maybe it would have gone differently if all the workshop participants had been SF/F people — we made up less than a fifth of the group — and thus more inclined to think about the options.

Still, I keep expecting readers of SF/F to think about the options. Person is not a homonym for human; while all humans are people, not all people (at least in sci-fi/fantasy) are humans.

Am I currently willing to hide behind figments of my own imagination in the hopes that no one really looks at the guy holding the pen? You betcha.

I’m having that odd argument with myself feeling, too. I want my friends to see the things I hide in my own fiction, but at the same time, I don’t want them to notice. I know that doesn’t make sense. Alandra would understand, I think. Not that I can talk to her about this. Hmm… I invented Alex in the first place to help me with difficult emotions; maybe I should ask him for advice. ‘Course, it’s a well-established fact that there are aspects of this situation with which persons in his profession cannot cope. (*is far too amused by his own obscure, borrowed Jungian snark.*)

*sigh* I’m okay, I swear. Just, as I said, simultaneously anxious and frustrated, wanting both to keep secrets and to share them. And Talk About All the Things. This current anxiety that someone might look at me… Eh. I’ll get over it. But I’ll remember, and I’ll use the remembered feeling in what I write.

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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5 Responses to Writer has anxiety attack, thinks, ‘This is soooo going in my novel.’

  1. danaethinks says:

    “Like” this post is not strong enough. “Love,” or even, “Get the heck out of my Head!” is more appropriate.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Any similarity between thoughts/feelings expressed in this post and same experienced by the reader is NOT the result of the blogger being a telepath/empath… 🙂 I generally make an effort not to “hear” other people, and only on rare occasion have I ever picked up anything from an individual who is both a stranger and not in close proximity. (This is me both making a joke AND being totally truthful… Y’know, typical Weaver-style weirdness.)

      Liked by 1 person

      • danaethinks says:

        Telepathy may not be your innate gift, but every writer is an empath. That’s why we often bloom behind a keyboard; the outside world is TOO real.

        Also, weirdness is the new cool.

        Liked by 1 person

        • According to the “experts,” I CANNOT be an empath. According to them, people like me ALWAYS lack any sort of empathy because our brains are broken and we have no feelings. (I’m autistic,and sometimes — okay, a lot of the time — I get really, really annoyed by what the “experts” say about how I’m supposed to be. When I get annoyed, I get sarcastic, and the “experts” can’t handle that because they think autistic people are totally incapable of understanding or using sarcasm… which only adds to my enjoyment of messing with their little brains, of course.)

          “Weirdness is the new cool.” I like that. Does that make me a hipster weirdo, though? ‘Cause I was weird WAY before it was cool. (Now I have a funny idea for something fictional: “Hipster Precog was a precog before it was cool — du’h!” And I may even have a home for it: someone teasing Jon, a minor character in some of the stories my twin and I write together.)

          Liked by 1 person

  2. danaethinks says:

    As an undiagnosed adult, and mom to an officially diagnosed daughter, I know how wrong the “experts” are about autism. And hipsters became uncool as soon as they became cool, so not an essential ingredient in weird/cool. Following you on social media for more mutual cool weirdness.

    Liked by 1 person

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