Writing Glitch #119

Today’s glitch:

glitch130

I think this one needs a slight change in wording, because right now it seems to go off in a different direction halfway through. I’ll highlight the differences in red so you can see what I mean.

They had shifted so many times in the last few weeks that now they were getting weak.

or

They had shifted too many times in the last few weeks, and now they were getting weak.

Notice that the second version has a comma after weeks, but the first doesn’t.

If you’re phobic of the word that (because you listened to someone who parrots “rules” without understanding them), you can leave it out but add a comma, and the meaning of the sentence will remain more or less the same, just rather informal.

(WordPress’ spell check tells me red is misspelled in this post. *shakes head* This, kids, is why you can’t trust a computer program to do a human-ish person’s job when it comes to editing/proofreading.)

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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