Writing Glitch #123

Today’s glitch:

glitch123

The em-dash after annoy her doesn’t belong. Use a comma instead. (If, for some odd reason, you want a dramatic pause after annoy her, use an ellipsis.)

There needs to be a comma after head because the sentence is compound.

She woke disoriented, with a lump on her head, and if that wasn’t enough to annoy her, she had lost her weapon during the fall.

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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3 Responses to Writing Glitch #123

  1. Sheron says:

    Why a comma after disoriented? Isn’t “with a lump on her head” a preposition and no comma required?

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is a prepositional phrase, but it’s also a parenthetical phrase to explain or qualify, and THAT is why it needs the commas. You could delete the whole “with a lump on her head” part of the sentence and still have it make sense, but you’d have less information about the situation.

      Thank you for asking questions, because that makes me have to look up the jargon so I can explain better.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sheron says:

    Thank you. I had a sneaking suspicious that was why, but I didn’t want your grammar books to get too dusty.

    Liked by 1 person

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