Writing Glitch #146

Here, have another…

glitch152

Wow. Talk about Excessive and random Capitalization! That’s far from the only problem in this example, though.

The first sentence is a comma splice; replace the comma with a period. Do not capitalize emergency broadcast or the anchor. (Seriously, that’s just weird. Why would anyone do that?) Replace the colon after says with a comma. An ellipsis has three dots, never two. (You could choose to delete one dot and make it a period instead.) Add a comma after details (comma after introductory phrase), and don’t capitalize sirens (because this is talking about technological alarms, not sailor-luring ladycreatures from Greek myth).

TV is interrupted by an emergency broadcast. The anchor says, “Please remain calm and stay indoors…” Before he can give any details, there’s a power cut. You now hear the sirens going off in the distance.

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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9 Responses to Writing Glitch #146

  1. Would love to see one where you go over proper use of the ellipses. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Not sure where you got this, but I’m presuming it’s from a non-native English speaker. How do I know this? The capitalization. In some languages all nouns are capitalized no matter their location in the sentence.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Unless … you live close to the beach and it is ‘sailor-luring ladycreatures from Greek myth’ going off in the distance? They are yelling and whooping it up, trying to get you to run out to see what’s going on so they can drown you …

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Quintessential Editor says:

    I’ve glimpsed those sailor-luring ladycreatures before. We were steaming through the Strait of Hormuz on our journey into the Persian Gulf. Our skipper lashed us to the flight deck while the vixens flashed their unmentionables, drank Mountain Dew, and smoked cigarettes. They weren’t what I expected, but after six months at sea even a worn pearl gains some luster…

    Liked by 1 person

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