Writing Glitch #156

Today’s glitch:

glitch162

Twenty should be spelled out instead of written as a numeral.

The comma after into should be deleted.

I made a couple of other changes to improve the flow of the sentence (changed you are to you’re and deleted that), but they’re just recommendations.

About twenty minutes after the oil drum you’re crammed into was filled with concrete, you realize you’re probably immortal.

If this example wasn’t written in present tense, it would flow even better. And what the hell, let’s improve it further by changing it to first person instead of second: About twenty minutes after the oil drum I was crammed into was filled with concrete, I realized I was probably immortal.

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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