Writing Glitch #159

Today’s glitch:


It’s a bad idea for real life, which is probably why it would make good fiction.

You don’t need both potential and future. If you don’t mean to imply that the people detected will murder, only that it’s likely, use potential.

The second sentence begins, Those who were tested positive as a potential murderer… At the least, this should be changed to, Those who test positive as potential murderers — if you’re talking about a plural subject, keep it plural.

Other changes were made for clarity and flow (including chopping out a part of the second sentence that I just told you how to fix).

A machine has been created to detect potential murderers. Those who test positive are sent to a deserted island to fend for themselves. You are one of those people.


About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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3 Responses to Writing Glitch #159

  1. I’ve gotta admit, I didn’t know what you content was about at first, but a closer look tells me I’d like to stick around and learn a thing or two about grammer. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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