Writing Glitch #169

Today’s glitch:

glitch180

There’s something amiss, something subtle, about this example…

Either begin the sentence with At first I thought or use until for the transition, but don’t do both; they don’t work together here.

I woke up to hear knocking on glass. At first I thought it was the window, but then I heard it come from the mirror again.

or

I woke up to hear knocking on glass. I thought it was the window until I heard it come from the mirror again.

Notice that the second version doesn’t have a comma, whereas the first one (a compound sentence with the conjunction but) does.

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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One Response to Writing Glitch #169

  1. I get a mental picture of a person waking up in order to hear knocking on the glass. At first, the person thinks the window is doing the knocking. Then he or she hears knocking coming from the mirror. The person apologizes to the window for thinking it was doing the knocking when it was the mirror all along. Darn that mischievous knocking mirror!

    Liked by 1 person

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