Writing Glitch #177

Today’s glitch:


Good try, but neither of those commas is correct.

A mighty king disguises himself as a peasant to search for a maiden who will fall in love with him for who he is and not just for his kingdom.

The middle of the sentence is awkward and may improve with changing for who he is to for himself.

FYI, peasant is not Middle-Ages Speak for person who isn’t royalty/nobility. An actual peasant wouldn’t have the freedom to just travel around wherever they liked, whenever they liked, much less marry whomever they chose. This example would work better if that word was changed to commoner.

(In the latest episode of Never Trust the Spell Check, we see WordPress say that marry is spelled incorrectly. It recommends merry instead, ’cause yeah, that’s a verb… Not. *shakes head*)


About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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