Writing Glitch #195

Today’s glitch:

glitch208

The first sentence is compound, and you know what that means.

The second sentence contains, among other things, a comma splice (a place where two sentences are run together with a comma). Replacing the comma after scrunching sound with a period takes care of that problem.

The handwriting belongs to the friend; therefore, you need an apostrophe to form a possessive: friend’s, not friends.

Her best friend was missing, and nobody had a clue why. She lay on her bed and hugged her pillow, and that’s when she heard it: a scrunching sound. When she looked inside, there was an envelope with her name on it… in her missing friend’s handwriting.

I used an ellipsis in place of the dash at the end because I assume the writer wanted something dramatic. The sentence doesn’t change direction abruptly, though, so a dash is inappropriate, whereas an ellipsis for dramatic pause is. The sentence would also work just fine without any punctuation there.

 

Advertisements

About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
This entry was posted in Writing Glitches and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Don't hold back -- tell me what you really think.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s