D’you ever get tired of “use a comma in a compound sentence” posts? I know I do. So here’s another glitch for today, this one dealing with something more than basic punctuation rules.
I added a comma after die, plus the word then, to the first sentence so it’s no longer saying you both die and wake up in the room. I changed with to containing (it may not be the best word, but it’s better than the original) so the sentence no longer implies that the man in the hood died and woke up along with you.
When you’re talking about a personification, Death should be capitalized.
You die, and then wake up in a dark room containing a man wearing a dark hood and white gloves. He informs you that he is Death, and you are to take over as his apprentice.