Writing Glitch #222

D’you ever get tired of “use a comma in a compound sentence” posts? I know I do. So here’s another glitch for today, this one dealing with something more than basic punctuation rules.

glitch240

I added a comma after die, plus the word then, to the first sentence so it’s no longer saying you both die and wake up in the room. I changed with to containing (it may not be the best word, but it’s better than the original) so the sentence no longer implies that the man in the hood died and woke up along with you.

When you’re talking about a personification, Death should be capitalized.

You die, and then wake up in a dark room containing a man wearing a dark hood and white gloves. He informs you that he is Death, and you are to take over as his apprentice.

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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One Response to Writing Glitch #222

  1. i enjoy reading these prompts almost as much as I benefit from your corrections. The mental images they inspire are very diverting.

    Liked by 2 people

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