Writing Glitch #252

Today’s glitch:


This one contains comma splices and some awkward wording. Note the period, not comma, after family in the corrected version.

At least the (inappropriate) ellipse at the end has the correct number of dots. 🙂 There shouldn’t be a space between the last word and the ellipsis, though.

A stranger arrives on your doorstep and claims to be related to your family. Not only that, but they have an unbelievable story to share with you.

If you really want to streamline the first sentence, try this: A stranger arrives on your doorstep, claiming to be a relative. (Streamlining/shortening sentences is not always a desirable thing, by the way. Using only very short sentences and small words, no matter how good those words are… Well, you can probably guess how that sounds sometimes.)


About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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