Writing Glitch #342

Today’s glitch:

glitch30

I have no idea what the creator of this example was thinking. Double commas? And at the beginnings of the sentences? WTF?

Get rid of the weird double commas. Burn them if you have to. 🙂

Then get rid of the em-dash before the second line of dialogue. (Yes, I know that’s done sometimes in subtitles on movies or television when more than one character is speaking in the same shot, but it’s not correct to do it in normal prose. If you insist on learning how to write from watching television, there’s nothing I can do to help you.) Dashes don’t belong in dialogue except to show an interruption or an abrupt change of idea within what one character is saying.

“It’s just… I saw her!”

“You know she’s dead.”

 

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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One Response to Writing Glitch #342

  1. Steve D says:

    I could have sworn I saw your name come up in another Blogger Recognition Award I saw recently, but I can’t find it, so I added you to my post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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