Writing Glitch #357

Today’s glitch:

glitch45

Add a comma after remember (the first part of the sentence is an introductory phrase).

The second sentence is compound. Add a comma before and.

The third sentence is compound, too. Add a comma after them.

Also add a comma after One day (introductory phrase).

For as long as you can remember, you’ve worn glasses. Your parents always made sure you had them on, and you formed the habit. One day, you forget them, and you realize you can see something no one else can.

The first sentence may flow better if the intro is moved to the end: You’ve worn glasses for as long as you can remember. (Notice there’s no comma now.) On the other hand, this changes the emphasis slightly, from the glasses themselves to the fact that the character doesn’t recall a time when they weren’t worn.

(*sigh* WordPress spelling/grammar checker wants me to change There’s no comma now to There’s no comma know. WTF?)

 

Advertisements

About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
This entry was posted in Writing Glitches and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Don't hold back -- tell me what you really think.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s