Writing Glitch #423

Today’s first glitch:

Change the comma after age to a period.

Delete the comma after is known and capitalize She before it.

This young girl is very powerful for her age. She can heal people and predict the future. She is known far and wide. Even the rich and powerful travel across the world for a few moments of her time.

Powerful seems to mean different things in different sentences here; in the first sentence, it refers to the girl’s “powers” (healing and predicting the future), whereas in the second sentence, it seems to mean important/influential. Consider replacing the first powerful with something else.

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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