Writing Glitch #438

Today’s glitch:

Get rid of the comma after box.

The pronoun in the beginning of the second sentence has an unclear antecedent (the noun the pronoun belongs to). Change Press it to Press the button.

I recommend deleting to when you pressed it as unnecessary. Whether you keep that phrase or not, change the period before a year without consequences to a comma.

You have a box with a button. Press the button, and a year later you’ll be right back, a year without consequences.

(If this time-machine button box thing doesn’t also erase your memory of whatever you do during that year, there are still consequences for you, even if not for anyone else.)

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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One Response to Writing Glitch #438

  1. curioushart says:

    With the comma after the word BOX, it reads like a Shatner comma. (I learned about Shatner commas from reading your blog, and, like any “A” student, I occasionally like to show-off my knowledge.)

    On Sat, Jun 3, 2017 at 1:45 PM, North of Andover wrote:

    > Thomas Weaver posted: “Today’s glitch: Get rid of the comma after box. The > pronoun in the beginning of the second sentence has an unclear antecedent > (the noun the pronoun belongs to). Change Press it to Press the button. I > recommend deleting to when you pressed it as unnec” >

    Like

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