Writing Glitch #447

Today’s glitch:

Um… No. your body is hospitalized and in a deep coma, but the coma isn’t where it’s hospitalized. Add a comma after hospitalized to fix this.

Capitalize Earth. (Guideline: if you can replace it with world, Earth should be capitalized, but if you can replace it with ground or soil, don’t capitalize it.)

Get rid of the dash after asleep and replace it with a comma. Although the sentence is not compound, you still need a comma after asleep for clarity; otherwise, it could sound as if you’re saying the possessed person, after falling asleep, decides to deliver justice to the world.

Your body is hospitalized, in a deep coma, but your soul is free to wander the Earth. You have discovered that you can possess people until they/you fall asleep, and have decided to deliver justice to a world in need. 

For the record, possessing people’s bodies without their knowledge and consent isn’t just, as a general rule.



About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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