Writing Glitch #459

Today’s glitch: 

Hmmm… There seems to be a bit of trouble with tenses here.

Because some of this example is already in past-tense, and because I don’t like present tense (far from “creating a sense of immediacy and intimacy,” the way some writers and readers claim it does, it usually feels artificial and even gimmicky to me), I’m going to make all of it past tense.

In addition to changing verb tenses, add a comma after suitcase in the second sentence and change the ellipsis (at least it’s a real one!) at the end to a period.

You just got back from a trip and opened your suitcase. You quickly discovered that this was not your suitcase, and something horrible was inside.

 

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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