Ohmigod, sometimes the author of The Grumpy, Grouchy Old Man’s Guide to Grammar acts a bit… grumpy and grouchy! Who’da thunk it? *shakes head*
Yes, I know I’m younger than some of you. I’m only forty-five, after all. And I don’t look like a “real grown-up” anyway, because I have long hair, and if I were a “real grown-up” with, y’know, a “real job,” and a spouse, and raising children of my own species (instead of being the proud cat-dad of adult furbabies), I wouldn’t look at least ten years younger than my chronological age, would I?
No, for fuck’s sake, that’s not bragging. I’m complaining — shut up and let me do it… Do you have any idea how annoying it is to hear someone five years younger than you call you a kid and tell you how things were different back in their day (and not even be able to hit them upside the head with a non-figurative cybernetic fish for it, even though you really want to)? Or have someone refuse to sell you cream soda because it’s the same color as beer, and they think your ID is fake because obviously you’re too young to buy a carbonated, vanilla-flavored beverage? (Yes, that really happened. Apparently the words IBC Cream Soda molded into the glass of each bottle wasn’t enough proof that it really was cream soda, either — at least not for that store clerk. *sigh* Good thing I hadn’t been trying to buy root beer, eh? She’d have called the cops on me for that.)
And speaking of GGOMGG, it was delayed (yet again *sigh*) last year because the author was expecting to move to another state back in June. But I didn’t know for certain. Nobody tells me nothin’… (I wish I could see the titles of the books those twin police officers are reading in Hot Fuzz. All I can tell is that one’s reading a novel by Iain Banks, and the other is reading a novel by Iain M. Banks. Same author, by the way, but the middle initial indicates the book is sci-fi instead of mainstream.) I guess you’ll just have to get your writing advice from this blog instead of from an e-book for a while longer. At least I have a clear idea now of what people want/need in such a book on an aspect of writing: They want coherence. They want plain language, not parroted word-nerd jargon. They want information/advice they haven’t seen a hundred times before, and they want it to be something they haven’t already figured out for themselves. I know this because I read the reviews on other books on writing, and it seems that some of them are as rambling as the “worst” of my non-grammar-focused blog posts, and contain less useful information. (I can start a post about my cats and end up explaining pronouns in Elizabethan English… It’s just this talent I have.)
Anyway. The good news is that I’m almost certain to be living in this town (although not in this house — yay!) for at least five more years, because my clone-sibling has a good job here (so glad he took my advice not to seek a government job!), and also, he’s getting married soon-ish (shhh, don’t tell anyone), so he’s sort of “putting down roots” here, at least in the short term (his — their — plan is for him to retire in ten or fifteen years, and then they’ll open a game store which will be, to quote my soon-to-be sister-in-law quoting a line from Dr. Teeth in The Muppet Movie, “mellow and laid-back and profitable”), and they want to keep me around after the move, if only because that means neither of them will have to do any housework. 🙂 Not having to worry every six months or so about where I’ll be living means I’ll be able to focus on my own writing projects somewhat better, too.