Writing Glitch #802

Today’s second glitch:

I appreciate the snark (even if it is based on a misinterpretation of what was originally meant by in his image — not everyone gets Renaissance-era English, y’know?), but the punctuation… *shakes head*

Get rid of the comma after God. Also get rid of the comma after man. Those commas look kinda like what are occasionally joked about as “Shatner commas.” If you do want to write in such a way that the reader knows you’re inserting pauses in odd places for no apparent reason — like William Shatner reciting lines from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, for example — use real ellipses, neither truncated nor over-extended. And speaking of over-extended ellipses,  delete two of the five (WTF?) dots before invisible.

“If God made man in his own image, why aren’t we all, like… invisible?”

 

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About Thomas Weaver

I’m a writer and editor who got into professional editing almost by accident years ago when a friend from university needed someone to copyedit his screenplay about giant stompy robots (mecha). Having discovered that I greatly enjoy this kind of work, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use ever since as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom. I'm physically disabled, and for the past several years, I’ve lived with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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