Writing Glitch 1067

Today’s glitch:

It is generally considered inappropriate to use exclamation marks in narration, because it comes across as hyperbole. Save ’em for dialogue or for first-person narration (which is much like internal dialogue anyway).

There is no clear logical/cause-and-effect connection between ‘you can’t draw’ and ‘a bank is being robbed.’ To fix this, the sentence/paragraph needs a transition, some way to show why the bank robbery is relevant to both the ‘amazing power!’ and the problem.

You have the amazing power to make anything you draw become real. The only problem is that you’re terrible at drawing, and you don’t have time to become better, because right now a bank is being robbed, and you have to stop the robbers.

 

About Thomas Weaver

For several years, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom (editor). I'm physically disabled, and I currently live with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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