Writing Glitch 1070

Today’s glitch:

The possessive form of victim is victim’s.

It is standard to say movements instead of movement in this context.

The target is a loaner? As in, either the target is someone who loans things, or the target is on loan? (“Need a victim for your next serial killing, but don’t want to make a long-term committment? Come on down to Evil Rupert’s Serial Killer Emporium and just borrow one! We’ll loan ’em to ya for the best price around, guaranteed, or the next one’s free!”) No, I am quite certain the writer meant loner, meaning someone who tends to be alone.

Add a comma after disappears.

Delete the comma after notices.

A serial killer has been monitoring his next victim’s movements for months. The target is a loner, the perfect target. One day the target disappears, and nobody notices but his would-be killer.

Still too many uses of target in such a short paragraph, in my opinion, but maybe it at least shows the serial killer’s obsession with his intended target.

(I must share this observation: WordPress’ built-in spelling/grammar checker says I should change serial to cereal in the previous paragraph, but only there. Think about this, folks…)

 

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About Thomas Weaver

For several years, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom (editor). I'm physically disabled, and I currently live with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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1 Response to Writing Glitch 1070

  1. M. Oniker says:

    I like your scenario of loaner better than the loner one. It is less trite.

    Liked by 1 person

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