Apparently, Weaver knows grammar because he DOESN’T HAVE A LIFE.

Sometime over the weekend, some troll felt the need to leave a comment on literally every post here that deals in some way with grammar or other aspects of copyediting: “Get a life!!” Even if they typed that only once and thereafter copy-and-pasted it to all the other posts… *shakes head* Does anyone else see the irony in commenting on hundreds of blog posts, telling the author of those posts to “get a life”?

So that happened.

I have a new “glitch” for you anyway… ’cause I don’t have a life, right?

Usually, I wouldn’t take any real notice of something like this. Normal humans sometimes leave commas out of sentences that ought to have them, after all. (So does my twin, who is not a normal human by most definitions.) However, the person who wrote this “glitch” self-identifies as “a great editor.” Such a person, in my opinion, ought to be held to a higher standard when it comes to the basics of punctuation. (Grr. Argh. Frustrated and disappointed copyeditor is frustrated with/disappointed in some of his so-called peers.)

The fact that I think professional editors ought to know stuff such as standard comma usage just proves that I don’t have a life, doesn’t it? Next thing you know, I’ll say I think professional bus drivers ought to know how to drive and be able to see.

(No, I’m not sarcastic — “internet wisdom” says I don’t even know what sarcasm is! *Weaver’s sarcasm-usage meter redlines, makes a weird boing noise, and catches fire* Drat. That’s the second sarcasm-usage meter I’ve broken this month, and I haven’t even been blogging much.)

Anyway. Having shown you the glitch, I now have to explain how to correct it: 

  • Add a comma after the introductory/adverbial phrase For a great editor like me (and try not to snerk too hard, okay?).
  • You may add a comma after Last year if you like, although it’s not strictly necessary.
  • There ought to be a hyphen joining the redacted number to word, because these function together as a single adjective modifiying jumble, and another hyphen before word to make a compound adjective modifying excellence (which is used incorrectly/in a non-standard manner here).
  • Add a comma after excellence.
  • Add a comma after it.

(I feel sorry for anyone who has paid “Skip” to copyedit their manuscript.)

Want to see something fun now? Okay, here’s a photo (finally) of a bookmark my sister-in-law made for me last year:

…And this one is Paul’s:

No, this is not a subtle clue about anything Paul is writing now. I just wanted to share these photos, ’cause I think they’re cool bookmarks.















About Thomas Weaver

For several years, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom (editor). I'm physically disabled, and I currently live with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have eight cats. I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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7 Responses to Apparently, Weaver knows grammar because he DOESN’T HAVE A LIFE.

  1. Those bookmarks are awesome! I’m envious and impressed with your S-I-L’s skill!
    ‘Skip’ forgot to mention how humble they are in their greatness 🙄

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Very cool bookmarks!

    Honestly, the number of editors like the one quoted is astonishing. In my opinion, it’s really hurt the editorial field. If they are making mistakes with such basics, how will they handle semicolons? *shudders* 🙂

    Sorry about the troll. What he did says way more about him than you. Even knowing that intellectually, it can still hurt. Which was his intent. *shakes head* People can be awful.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I was more confused than hurt by the trollish comments. I don’t understand why people do stuff like that. I mean, I understand it on an intellectual level — I know all the standard psychological explanations, etc. — but I don’t understand it.

      How do people who have trouble with commas handle semicolons? These days, they don’t. They quote Kurt Vonnegut — or some self-styled “writing guru” who parrots Vonnegut’s comments about semicolons, as if Vonnegut were an authority on punctuation just because he wrote a few novels that became famous — and declare that semicolons are Bad Writing. Then they don’t have to deal with ’em at all. Except to introduce items in a list, even though that’s not what semicolons are for.

      Fun fact about those bookmarks: The white dragon on Paul’s bookmark is the symbol for the House of Drake in some of his novels. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi friend! Wow, telling you to “get a life” is really rich, coming from someone who took the time to not only pull up literally every post you’ve ever written on grammar, but also to leave a comment on them, especially for the sole purpose of trolling lol. Seems like that person is the one who needs to get a life! I’m sorry that happened to you 💕

    Anyway, those bookmarks are entirely awesome 😁

    I hope you’re doing well these days!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s exactly what my clone-sibling Paul said when I told him about the troll: The person who really doesn’t have a life is the one who spends that much time/effort leaving trollish comments on some stranger’s blog.

      Liked by 1 person

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