Writing Glitch 1096

Today’s glitch:

What we see in the second sentence of the example is an actual run-on sentence: a sentence that lacks even a misused comma to slow the headlong rush. It needs either a period or a semicolon after friend.

Other problems:

Lives are countable. Replace amount (for uncountable nouns) with number. (If you really, really want to use the word amount for some reason, change the sentence to say unlimited amount of life; lives are countable, but life is not.)

Unless used as a proper name (for a person or anything else), amber should not be capitalized.

 The last sentence is compound and needs a comma after room.

“This is going to be horrible. Pain is your friend; it means you haven’t lost your mind. […] You have an umlimited number of lives in this game. Stay focused on finding that amber room, and no matter what happens, you stand back up each time you fall.”


 

 

 

About Thomas Weaver

For several years, I’ve been putting my uncanny knack for grammar and punctuation, along with an eclectic mental collection of facts, to good use as a Wielder of the Red Pen of Doom (editor). I'm physically disabled, and I currently live with my smugly good-looking twin Paul, who writes military science fiction and refuses to talk about his military service because he can’t. Sometimes Paul and I collaborate on stories, and sometimes I just edit whatever he writes. It's worked out rather well so far. My list of non-writing-related jobs from the past includes librarian, art model, high school teacher, science lab gofer… Although I have no spouse or offspring to tell you about, I do have six cats. (The preferred term is "Insane Cat Gentleman.") I currently spend my time blogging, reading, editing, and fending off cats who like my desk better than my twin’s.
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3 Responses to Writing Glitch 1096

  1. If it was changed to that Amber Room, would that be correct? Or would it need to be the Amber Room?

    Like

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